So, to get back to my experience with the government's wonderful back to work initiative. I was invited to a 'back to work' interview. Or at least I thought I was. I dutifully filled in my work form and copied all the job applications I had sent off.
When I got to the job centre, I was ushered into a very small room where I was eventually told I was going to get a powerpoint presentation.

It was my worst nightmare. At least by only having a five minute sign on session and the occasional one to one interview, I could kid myself that this was just a bad dream. Faced with ten other local unemployees, reality hit me like an express train.

It was a small room, it was very hot and I was wedged between two men whose benefit clearly did not run to soap, hot water or deodorant. When we were told that the presentation took about 40 minutes I wondered how long I was going to last. Having expected a 15 min one to one interview I had not thought to bring supplies (water, glucose, clove studded orange) so my concentration was firmly fixed on not throwing up.

As powerpoint presentations go, it was pretty lame. It was poorly laid out, grammatically incorrect and the women presenting (bless her, it wasn't her fault - she admitted she had no training) was less than inspiring.

The presentation was (supposedly) designed to help people back to work. Oh and they wanted us to share our experiences. I don't think so. My ability to get back to work relies on no-one and I mean no-one realising that I am claiming benefit. Perception is everything is this world and I strongly believe that this applies to plumbers as well as executives. Let people know you are on the skids and they drop you so fast you think you must have swine flu stamped on your forehead. Mind you, they are already starting to drop me. While I can be extremely creative when it comes to excuses as to why I can't join them for dinner, fundraising activities, hen nights, a drink at the pub even, they do eventually stop asking. Poverty is an infectious disease.

So back to the presentation. Underlying their 'positive' action plan was a clear message that the government was not prepared to support you indefinitely or was going to smack your bottom or write you off if you don't get a job.

In case anyone thinks I am not trying, I get up at 7.00 every morning, sit at my computer all day until 5 or 5.30 trying to resurrect my business, search the web for jobs and every 30 seconds or so, force myself not to give up. I apply for about 7 jobs a week - some suitable, many not.

So, I now have to force myself to go and sign on. It's depressing, demoralising and I exit hoping that I never have to go back but braced for the inevitable return journey.